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[Aug. 23rd, 2009|05:35 pm] |
I've moved. Painted the room and it's pretty much set up. Looks pretty good. I would like to get a real nightstand and computer chair, but that's going to be awhile because I'm out of money. Because I bought a car.
I'm driving now. Scary at first, but now it fits. Feels good to drive again.
Still haven't gotten my deposit back from the old place. Frustrating, infuriating, but I'm not surprised. Ugh, hopefully I see it on Monday like I was told, again. And again. And again.
Dave and I got into a fight this morning. I've had a lot of steam building up, and eventually something ticked me off. It was Halo. I came over at 11:30 or so last night, and he playing with his roommate. Fine at first, I figured they'd finish sooner or later. It was damn near 1am when they shut it off. Really? Come on, I can barely stay up that late anymore. When I asked if he wanted me to come over, he didn't have to say yes, he could have said he was playing Halo and I would have stayed home. Well maybe we can hang out for breakfast in the morning...no. Woken up at 9:30 because he had to go to work. He didn't understand why I was mad. I'm come second to school, work, and his kid. All understandable, I get why that is, it's just the way of the world. But to a fucking video game? No, I don't understand it. I don't understand why I was there to sit on the couch and watch him play Halo. I don't understand why he can't tell me he had work the next day. If this was 8 o'clock at night, it might not bother me so much. But that late, no, I don't understand why he wanted me there at all. |
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| (no subject) |
[May. 12th, 2009|10:02 pm] |
The kid is still up. Are you fucking kidding?
I haven't started actively looking for a place to live yet. Go me. When did I want to move? Oh June 1. I'm awesome. At least the lease isn't up until July 1.
However, the semester is officially done as of today, take home quiz handed in, it's all done.
Now to catch up on the studio job and quit after that. I'm still waiting for a paycheck. Really? Why the hell am I working when I can't get paid? Ugh. I'm going to have to hold shit hostage now aren't I? (In other words, don't work until I'm paid).
Now the kid is throwing a tantrum because he has to go to bed. Don't reason with a two year old. You're the boss, bedtime is bedtime. And who the fuck uses bedtime as a punishment? Works real fucking well. God I love my headphones so much right now.
I'm frustrated and tired. This kid needs to stop screaming. His dad needs to learn how to put him to bed. His mom needs to stop using bedtime as a punishment. |
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| (no subject) |
[Apr. 25th, 2009|03:02 pm] |
My head hurts, my sinuses have just finally stopped trying to push my eyes out of my head. I hate colds. I also hate the fact this cold has come at the last two weeks of the semester. The two weeks where I'm nothing but busy. I have to write three 2-3 page papers on my field project (yes, I think that's weird too) for Monday. I have maybe a page of one. I'm not doing the assignment the way the prof wants it. I know it. I just don't care, the way I'm doing it, I think, is more beneficial to me than to sit there for 3 or 4 hours over 3 different visits. I have a full time job lady, taking 3 days off at the end of the budget to haul off to the 'burbs and to try to not be run over in front of the TU building is not going to happen.
Then there's the homework due for Tuesday, and the one page write up that's taking me 8 million years to do. It is one page, brain, you can do one page. Come on.
Don't get me stated on what's do next week. No where near where I need to be for that. Great. |
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| (no subject) |
[Apr. 7th, 2009|08:55 pm] |
Last week's phone call with the building manager: we'll get that gate fixed soon. (soon isn't soon enough, the lock has been torn off the gate, which faces a street.) Blah blah blah about the roof and the weather. We'll seal the crap out of the roof. (won't do shit and we both now it)
I'll start looking for a new apartment in May, after the semester has finished. My summer class starts June 22 and the lease is up July 1. I want to move before class starts, even if I pay for two apartments for a month. If any more water comes in, I'm declaring the lease officially broken right there.
I want a bedroom. I want a bed frame that hasn't had a lake's worth of water on it and wear from workmen standing on it because they're too stupid to figure out what it is. I want to hang my clothes and store my belongings in a closet without worrying about water damage. I want a stove that I don't have to check for water under the burners. I want to stop sleeping in the living room. I want a couch that isn't broken. I want to buy a real bed (ok, cheap Target or Ikea bed). I want to live like an adult damn it! |
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| (no subject) |
[Mar. 28th, 2009|07:50 pm] |
Hitting my building's owner over the top of his/her head with a blunt object is very appealing. Punching the property manager in the face sounds great too.
The roof leaked again a couple weeks ago. I'm not surprised, just disappointed. Put that's not bothering me, what bothers me is worse.
Early this evening I found the gate to the street broken open in the back yard. A huge fucking rock was in front of it and the lock was torn off. My guess is they wedged the rock in there until the metal separated from the wood. Quality fucking fencing. The mattress to the porch swing was dragged closer to the gate and there were a couple bottles next to an old love seat frame. Fuck. Fuckity fuck fuck fuck!
My downstairs neighbor moved out too. I thought the neighbors in the building next door did too, but one of them stayed I guess, I saw lights on last night and heard footsteps a few days ago when I got my bike out of the basement. At least I hope it's one of them.
Fuck.
I'm scared someone is going to break in. Seriously, I'm scared if management doesn't fix this tomorrow, someone will break in Monday.
To make this an even crappier weekend; he told me if he gets into school in the city, he's moving down there in December to start school in July. I was hoping for a year, and was starting to think he'd stay until June, but he wants to get out of Albany badly.
So now what do I do? I thought about taking a six month lease and moving when he leaves but now with the gate? I don't want to live here now! I'm tired of the results of other people's carelessness and laziness hitting me with a full blow! (literally, remember the ceiling?)
I can't handle a move until May. With school and work, I'd have to take a week off just to have time to pack.
This really fucking sucks. I was planning on one more year downtown then moving further out next year, when I plan on buying a car.
I fucking hate Albany so much right now. |
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| (no subject) |
[Feb. 28th, 2009|09:46 pm] |
I'm having an evening where I don't know what I want. I just boiled water and realized I don't want anything hot. Not to mention how I feel about my life this minute. It's like I'm floating in water. I'm wondering if my life has completely derailed at 22 and I'm just barely getting back on track. I have fewer days feeling like that. I think I've lingered in the past long enough. Too long actually, I've marinated in it. So I'm pushing onward. School helps. It's a goal, both long term and temporary. (yes, I do consider get through this semester a goal).
I wonder what it's going to be like when I graduate. It's why I'm keeping my job now, so in case it doesn't look good for me, the bills are paid. But I can't stand it. I can't stand my job anymore. I had a good drive for about a month and last week I just fell flat. I could not give two shits if I tried. Is that just how it is? Where I fuck around all day, not getting shit done because no one cares? I don't want to work like that. Sometimes I think it's me, others I think it's the workplace. I don't think I belong. If I went to school there I'd have or dropped out or transferred. Bleh. I also need to quit my second job. Like last week should have quit. It's taking up too much of my time. But I know I won't. Because I said I was quitting in August and for some reason, like to feel needed. They don't need me specifically and I know that! Ugh, I'm pissing myself off with this. I also like the extra money. And I try to keep that in mind. Bleh. 2nd job, bleh. |
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| (no subject) |
[Feb. 15th, 2009|03:43 pm] |
Thankfully there's no school this week. So I get to catch up on reading that I've already fallen behind on for school. So far I'm just one chapter behind, about 20 pages of an annoying textbook. I really want to kick the author in the shins. There will be some long definition with awkward wording which will be immediately follow by "in other words..." This happens about 5 times per chapter. 5 times "in other words..." FUCK YOU!! JUST SAY IT ALREADY SO I'M NOT HIGHLIGHTING NONSENSICAL CRAP!!!
The studio still hasn't paid me from January (I'm paid every 2-3 months) nor given me my 1099 (taxes). Seriously, I'm pissed. I'm fine with late January (FT job sent them out on Jan 20) but it's mid-February. WTF???? So more emails of wtf 1099/paycheck since I already sent at least one for each issue.
I finally bought myself a new spring coat. And not just any spring coat, one that fits! My winter coat is too big and my old fall/spring coat is too big (and threadbare in some places). Wow, I look skinny.
My downstairs neighbor moved out and the keys are still still at the bottom of the stairs. The property manager called the old tenant and me asking where they were. In front of your face, asshole. So I left a cheery To-do list for them for the hallway. Should have made it longer, the stairs need to be fixed. When I tossed the leftover pumpkin and huge-ass rock doorstop (wasn't needed, but whatever) I found out the tenant didn't lock the back door. Ughhhh, someday I will own a house, or move into a building with not stupid tenants. |
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| (no subject) |
[Feb. 4th, 2009|03:23 pm] |
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I hate that I'm not headed for the bus now because I'm avoided the alkie fights at the Armory stop. Yet I find it kind of funny that my reason for it is because it's too damn cold to deal with anyone's crap. |
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| (no subject) |
[Jan. 20th, 2009|06:50 pm] |
I'm really tired of letting assholes that get their way put me off to working for the whole day.
Fuck you kid. Fuck you haaaaaaaaaard.
Now graduate and get the fuck out. |
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| (no subject) |
[Jan. 11th, 2009|10:07 pm] |
Classes start on the 21st. My first class isn't until the 26th, two weeks. Sort of ready and yet not ready, hopefully this semester will be better than the last.
Another local college has started layoffs. It's like hearing a loud thud from a tree falling or something. You think "oh shit" yet at the same time be glad it wasn't near you. For the remaining fiscal year, I think my school won't lay anyone off. But I do feel a hiring freeze will happen soon. Very, very soon, the open position we have now had the hiring date moved forward two months. Layoffs are only a matter of time after that.
One of my co-workers assumed she knew what the school would do then. She figured herself to be safe. She didn't think much beyond just the part timers being laid off and that the director will decide (um, not too sure about that). I said the closest to retiring, like RPI (yes, I know not all of them were). Stupidly, I said this to another co-worker who is close to retiring age. Go me. Another way to go about it is with the performance reviews. Everyone had to submit a form saying what they did and such last year. My guess is they'll find who's expendable enough through those. |
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| (no subject) |
[Dec. 26th, 2008|04:45 pm] |
| [ | music |
| | King of Carrot Flowers, pt 1 ~Neutral Milk Hotel | ] |
Being the greenie I've always been (BEFORE the term greenie in fact, like a lot of people) over the years I've been dropping certain brands from my shopping list. Now I'm trying to drop shampoo and conditioner all together. Whole products, from my list of stuff. I've been using apple cider vinegar on my hair for about a month. I picked up a bottle of it at the Co-op and put a tablespoon or two in an old conditioner bottle and fill it with water. It's been working pretty well, I don't like the smell too much but that's gone when I rinse and if any is still there, when the hair dries. (Yes, it's gone, my boyfriend was repelled by the idea of vinegar in my hair, he sniffed it, no vinegar smell) I still have a leave-in product that I use now and then because the static in my hair is worse. I think it's from missing parts with vinegar. Other than that, I think it makes my hair look better.
Today I tried baking soda for shampoo. It's harsher on the hair than regular shampoo, so it has to be used less. With shampoo, I wash my hair every other day. From what I've seen, wash only when it starts too look like crap or once or twice a week. Yeah, it sounds a little gross to me too, but it's worth a try.
Right now my hair is drying, so far it feels ok. The ends looks a little dry already, not good, could be from too much baking soda. It's not supposed to be applied to the ends, my guess is since it gets to them when you rinse, but I think I piled my hair on top of my head anyway. Old habits die hard. It smells like my hair though, no food smell or botanical smell. I'm not a fucking plant anyway, so it's good.
Next thing to change is my moisturizer apparently. I can't find Marshmallow vanishing creme anywhere this year. What the hell? This stuff used to be in the grocery store. Now all I can find is the lip gloss and hand lotions. The Co-op is my last place left to look. Which is ok, I need to make a trip anyway to hand over some plastic bags.
I'm nearly out of dishwashing soap. I'm using Method right now and I HATE the bottle. The nozzle is easily clogged and no one can ever tell when the damn thing is open or not. I need a new brand. I've used Seventh Gen and that one's fine, but it seems I can only find the lavender one and I don't really like the smell. Co-op might have the other two scents. Again, Co-op, think I need to go? |
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| (no subject) |
[Nov. 22nd, 2008|01:20 pm] |
Writing a 15 page paper in the style of an ARIST review sucks. I think I tossed at least two articles out yesterday, which means more research today instead of writing. I have half a page written, a few sections are outlined (not impressively either). I just realized I'm not in the mind set to write anymore because what I just typed was along the lines of "grouping images is important because..." OK! Research! I'll do reasearch now and hopefully not write like that ever again.
Due Tuesday.
With a 10 minute presentation. |
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| (no subject) |
[Nov. 16th, 2008|11:40 am] |
4-5 page due Thurs
13-15 due Tues w/ 10 min presentation
7-10 due Dec 4th. w/ 2 minute presentation
I have no idea if the middle is going to get done. I really hate papers.
Why did I do this to myself?
Oh yeah, I like my job but hate being poor. |
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| (no subject) |
[Nov. 5th, 2008|05:48 pm] |
I am so happy for my country.
I'm glad we voted the more capable candidate for President.
I'm glad SD and CA know why abortion needs to stay legal and CO knows why you can't give a fetus the same rights as a person.
I'm glad MI chose legalize medical marijuana and loosen restrictions on stem cells.
I feel we pushed ourselves a little farther.
However, I'm disappointed in CA, AZ, AR, and FL for denying others a right they are free to enjoy.
*sigh*
One step at a time. |
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| (no subject) |
[Nov. 1st, 2008|11:57 am] |
Dear cold:
You aren't make my life easy here.
I'm just on page 3 of a 7-8 page assignment. I HATE IT! It's on organization structure, I don't feel that it should be 7 or 8 pages of analysis. At least it's only halfway done. I still have to answer questions 6-9. For some reason, "organization principles" isn't ringing any bells. Of course, this is reading from a month ago. Bleh. 5 weeks left. 5 more classes. One final paper with presentation. Then I'm done with this class.
The other has 4 classes left and 3 papers, one with a presentation.
Oy. |
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| (no subject) |
[Oct. 29th, 2008|06:28 pm] |
Dear school:
I am already handing in one paper late. Please stop insisting on all this ceasing any and all outside life nonsense. I'm already giving up Halloween to write stupid late paper. (Though if I'm good, maybe I'll be able to slip out of an hour or two this weekend). You're getting most of Saturday and all of Sunday. For the month of November, you want everything. You even demand time off work, I am not going to knit nights, and yoga has been cut down to alternate weeks if need be. There are 5 more weeks left in this semester and you are asking a lot out of the next 4. I'm not sure who has lost there mind, school, you or me.
School, you are the napalm of my social life. Hopefully when the flames die and the smoke clears, I'll have some shred of sanity and social graces. But for now, I must give in to your constant demands. |
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| (no subject) |
[Oct. 23rd, 2008|09:21 pm] |
I missed Rocky at the Palace. Argh!!!
Tomorrow is an interview for a class project (nifty way of saying long ass paper) and I don't know if my partner remembered. I shot her an email, so hopefully she'll be there. School is hectic. I've got so much to do and no time for it. An assignment and paper due next week. Then another paper and two final papers that need to be started. One is due before Thanksgiving, I think.
My room is done! I hope anyway. There's been rain, but I want RAIN! Rain that will prove that sucker is indeed, done. So tonight I'm putting nearly everything back but the bed. The loft is in place and has been cleaned twice and is drying before a water/rubbing alcohol mix spray to be sure the mold is killed off. The desk is back in place, but the stuff on it is still in the living room. I'm hesitating, I'm nervous that it's just a band-aid over huge hole and I'll be back where I was last July. Argh, never again, please never, ever again.
Hopefully it will help me focus more for school. I'll have a room and I can shut the door when I need to. Well, sorta, door doesn't always shut.
Speaking of home life. Well, sorry, I don't want to share too much. I share too much here and it becomes a dumping ground for my feelings. I'll just say I think it's a good thing. |
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| (no subject) |
[Sep. 28th, 2008|01:37 pm] |
Agh, ur, brains!
When was the last time I posted?
School is keeping me busy. That's all I have to say for it. Busy and in a constant state of OMGWTF am I doing? The latter has levels. There's WTF am I reading, where is my free time, how in the hell can I write about this, what am I supposed to be writing, my god what have I done.
I'm sure there's more, but you get the idea.
I got my first ever assignment back with an incomplete.
Well, fuck.
and
Well, good.
I can fix it and get a grade, but on the other hand, I fucked up. But the prof has some belief in me and wants me to fix it. "What happened?" she asked me. Don't ask me what I said, I babbled something that hopefully explained "I only know what's going on presently and have no idea what's happening next week and not sure if I can accurately place memories in their proper time anymore." In other words, I freaked out and couldn't finish.
I'm hoping I got back into the swing of school writing. I submitted a paper Thursday night. No bib, but I didn't quote any text. (Is that ok? The knowledge I have is from the text, but I think it's from other sources as well...agh! I don't remember this crap!)
I feel like the training wheels have been taken off and after a wobbly 20 feet, I fell flat on my face in blaze of humiliation.
Today: fold laundry from this mornin
yoga studio for attendance sheets-send out last weeks too
read for Thurs class (no class Tues, woo hooo!!!)
clean bathroom of nastiness.
get crap out of closet for sanding and painting this week (better be this week) <-- yes, I now have a ceiling. |
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| (no subject) |
[Sep. 7th, 2008|12:58 pm] |
School is keeping me busy. It's seriously only the third week of classes? I felt like I've read a good solid two months worth already. One class in particular, it takes me forever to read for. For-freaking-ever. I'm talking 10 pages in an hour while taking notes. Why am I doing that do myself? Is this even useful? I'm up to 11 pages of notes and there's still an 18 pages article to read. I don't know why I feel compelled to take so many notes for this prof's assignments.
The other class has a better textbook and articles. I've done two readings in a little over an hour. I feel like I can shift through the content better. At least I like to think so, the book is finally in stock at the bookstore, of course I didn't realize it when I looked on Friday. Little cart means in stock, dumbass. Ugh. I also got it through ILL at work, so I'll leave that copy at work for now and read during lunch once or twice a week.
I've been knitting on the bus and during my class-days lunch and before class. I go to yoga after Tuesday's class, making it such a long day but it feels great to just clear my head and workout for a bit. I might start going to the gym at work or go uptown to the school's.
I still haven't heard anything from the property management, no one's been by the check the place out. The roof leaked yesterday, so whatever the fuck the guys were doing a couple weeks ago obviously didn't work. Fix my fucking ceiling you bastards!
I got a table off the curb! My first curbside furnishing! Now I need to pick up a couple chairs for it, but I might wait and see for a little bit. If nothing happens with the fucking roof, I'm going to try to break lease and move. I'm really fucking sick of not having a bedroom. |
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